Black_Iris

Bad tv

2006-11-19T07:29:00.000-08:00

Not everyone has it good all the time- observe...

G.Contest/M.Memory...

2006-10-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

Some of you must be wondering why I'm carrying around tiny FHM business card 'Girls Next Door' flyers in my purse. If you got one, lucky you! If you havn't received one from me, don't bother asking. But guys, if you wanna nominate any of your girlfriends - she has to be gorgeous otherwise why're you dating her, rite? - pls, encourage her to participate! =)

www.fhm.com.sg

And for the record, I'm not allowed to participate due to affiliation rules. Rules are rules! Oh, and it wldn't be fair since I'm seeing the editor - duh.

___

I love waking up with you beside me;
the Sun's pale finger tracing over your body.
My eyes; they follow and gaze as I lean over to kiss you.
Your breathing paced in slow rhythmic march.

'Two eyes'; she sits on the pillow and welcomes my touch.
Reclaiming her spot during the night
between us; after we've cuddled.
I love falling asleep bathed in your scent.

We unwrap the sheets revealing skin,
Our breasts touch like the clink of glasses.
Your cats lay with us in scattered fashion,
Ignoring our acts of ardent desire.

Bumpy_Endings

2006-10-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh, what a bumpy ride it's been. With only a few more days till apprasial, I havn't done enough work! Gotta get focused; but its tough. Dread, just left a very confusing relationship I had with Desmond. A heated argument over nothing; he denies ever having a relationhsip with me while I was insitant that we did. Delusional? Perhaps; for thinking he was serious with me with all those proclaimations he made about wanting a future with me, etc. He's the one confused and I've got the text msgs to prove it. But do I care to prove myself anymore? No. After hearing about what my classmates at sch think of me, its useless to vindicate myself. If there's only one thing i'm ever guilty of its having a life that's totally unbelievable. I'm just thankful that I've got a handfull of friends that do trust me and believe the life that I'm going through.

Just last night, Dan came up to me and asked me how my life was. I smiled and asked him which aspect of my life he was itching about and he replied 'the FHM side of your life with Dav'. I could not stop smiling because it's so rare for the ppl around me believe a word I say. Steph too (a really nice girl I've met from 2nd yr). I had her steal a listen during my phone conversation with Dav when I called and she commented he sounds soooo young. Lol!

Naturally, I told him about it and that only made him grin with mischivious delight.

But coming back to my life, its been very comfortable especially with Dav around. We were just discussing about how we sld be celebrating my 21st birthday and he suggested leaving the country for awhile. Meanwhile, he's booked us a spa retreat for next week and I'm so excited! Dav's just simply the sweetest man I know, tho he doesn't spend much one me, he spends the most amount of time with me dispite his busy shedule at the magazine (and other aspects of his life which I shant discuss about). Its been such a comfortable relationship; being able to share and communicate dispite our vast age gap is really something worth celebrating.

Oh, i've seen the pilot copy of the F*M mag two weeks ago and boy is it lovely. I still can't believe he reused the $20k joke which was featured in Aug's edition of UK's F*M mag. He says its funny but I tink its ridiculous; go read it to know what I'm talking about. But what I really love about it is every copy comes with a really adorable shot glass! Its really cute! (for the record, i'm not trying to sell the magazine okay? =P)

I love fuzzy dumpling!

Confused Comfort...

2006-10-14T03:12:00.000-07:00

Awww... He loves me...

How? Why? I don't understand...

In-touch...

2006-10-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

Today, i was asked what i've been doing this past yr by a friend i recently got re-intouched with. I coyly replied abt the most recent events; "erm, oh, u know, the usual? a yr ago at this time, i was still single and optimistic, mostly abt Halloween, found love in a fling which ended in pure tragedy. Which explains Why i'm still smoking my lungs out dispite doctor's orders, but not drinking much. got my driver's licence. found Sam; my cousin's christmas 'gift', but didn't work out. Had my first long distance relationship with Sean (my fav. Filipino ex bf and the youngest guy i dated in a year; he was 28 then). Went on to dating my first married man who turns out to be my tutor a yr later. Later, Dated my first 40 something, went back to sch, hooked up with my second gf but things between us fell through quickly. Fate brought me to a party one nite Where i met Dav (F*M's editor) and became his gf of sorts; attended parties and sorts with him. Had a short fling with the mag's ex-marketing guy while still with Dav but ended shortly after a week (coz he chickened out of our taboo relationship). Since then, i've still been with Dav; as 20 yr old mistress..." there was a nod and the question "are u happy?"

Married men; so?

2006-10-10T00:21:00.000-07:00

He's married; So what?

Dating a married man isn't the worst crime anyone can ever committ and judging another person isn't any one's right to own. There has always been the issue about religion and the notion of 'right and wrong' but at the end of the day, doesn't 'love' and 'lust' come in all sorts of packages? I say, just go with what you feel makes you happy at the end of the day. Let morals and principles kick-back behind emotions and just be (urself). Let loose. I repect any girl that decides to act on her feelings because she knows what she wants (because it's rare).

It's coming to the third month that Dav and I have been dating and it's been a very fulfilling relationship for the both of us. I can't recall the last time I havn't been so happy being with another individual and frankly, his lifestyle doesn't bother me one bit. what's important is we enjoy each other's company and the level of honesty and understanding we share. Parties and events that we attend together don't mean anything to me anymore; it's the time we spend/spent.

And ofcourse, it's always flattering to know i'm dating ***'s editor... =D

Lub you, flow~

FHM

2006-08-24T15:02:00.000-07:00

FHM's (adorable) editor David Fuhrmann-Lim...

Simply the sweetest man that I know (and my lips cldn't agree more)... =)

Who Knew

2006-07-29T04:01:00.000-07:00

"Be your love"

2006-07-27T16:38:00.000-07:00

Sha-la-la-la-la...

2006-07-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

___

Crumpled;

A long dying wasteland of dreams.
Discarded. I no longer feel your pressence.

What did you need that I could not provide?
I'll never know your answer.
I could never hear your answer,
your silent lips parted for awhile
and then you kissed me in a whrill wind of confusion.

Twisted emotions wrap me to sleep
as I keep my cell phone close to my chest.
Hoping she would whisper a repressed wish to me.
Her memory poses as no form of comfort but a song of bitter questions.

Crumpled; I sink deeper in my sheets.

High- a 'Cafe song'...

2006-07-14T01:24:00.000-07:00

For the girl who's name I do not know (yet),
this is for you...

:3
__________

High

She came to me like an Angel in the wind,
her presence known was lyk a whisper.
I heard her voice float through the collums of the walls;
and i remember that look. (like that one)

She made me coffee and she made my day,
and she'll never know how completely maddening she is;
and all i cld do was stare.

Felt like a fool coz I, I cldn't move and I;
I remember her face;

(Chours)
Coz she made me so,
High...
So,
High...
I wanna see her face again,
Her smile lifted my soul and she made me so high...

I wanna hold her, move her, feel her~
And take the World in my hands.
I'm gonna give her everything,
See Heaven in her eyes;

(Chours)
And we'll be so,
High...
So,
High...
I wanna see her face again,
Her smile lifted my soul coz she made me so high...

...had a bad day...

2006-06-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

CHECK!

2006-05-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

Reminder to self: No more dating...

CHECK!

Ian Somerhalder~

2006-05-10T00:03:00.000-07:00

I loved two parts of this sexy clip;

1) Ian fagging
2) Ian Humping at the mirror

/Lickies fingers~

Rain...

2006-05-07T02:51:00.000-07:00

The night sky tore open once again
paving way for the rain to race through its velvet lining;
cleansing everything in its path.

Prancing off the windows and the ledge off my balcony,
Singing as it is.
Closing my eyes, I reached out to feel the sting of cold droplets pounding against my skin.

Numb.

I shivered from sheer delight.
To think I could heal by embracing it.

Rain on me.

Of white walls and grey floors...

2006-05-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

* * *

Of white walls and grey floors,
I've tried time and again to be close to you.

Of white walls and grey floors,
I've spent an endless life painting you.
Smearing with open cuts by the wrist.

Of white walls and grey floors,
I've flung this limp and useless flesh pointlessly in your direction.

But do you care?

No.

You don't.

Never

Will

Never

Did.

What difference, then, would it make to you if these walls were red?
It would; if you knew how I painted them.

- "STAB ME!"

Wracked up little ventricle...

2006-05-03T01:52:00.000-07:00

A little disjointed at the ventricle and the space that's inbetween that and of the cranium. Wasn't a very pleasant feeling when I allowed the two to meet and debate in the halls of 'logic' for a whole day. The result was just shame and pain. The verdict was to stay off the dating game for a while. But ivillage.com strongly advices against it as she warns of losing the beat. Apparently, losing your rythm can actually be the cause of massive blow outs and worse; unrepairable meltdowns that even marshmellow fondue cannot mend.

"Am I torn?", I cannot tell. Not at this point, I'm as oblivious to warning signs as a deer would become roadkill to a truck in the next 10 seconds. BANG!

I met a girl who's currently doing her degree studies at school. She was setting up an exhibition for an upcomming show; where I was taking down mine. And she said to me:

"How fun it must be isnt'it? To take things down?" she said this with a smile on her face without a hint of sacarsm in her voice.

"I wouldn't think so. It's easier to create a mess than to clean it up."

She giggles and nods quickly, acknowledges my comment and kicks the trolly out of the elevator. I would have thought my comment was apt in describing my life in short;

It's easy for me to mess up lives; mine to be exact. And I spend an 'eternity' cleaning up my own mess.

Shame in a touch...

2006-05-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

I'm eating straight out of a can of pate. Fat doesn't scare me anymore.
Chain smoking again, tho I'm fully aware of the harm it'll bring to me.
Nothing surprises me anymore, nothing worries me more than my mistakes.

Bogged down.
Ashamed; what the fuck did I just do?

But more importantly; what the fuck am I doing?
Dignity lost, but slowly regaining.

"It could have been worse" never fails to comfort me...

===

I've come to realise one thing; you can never find love in physical intimacy. Its a useless war cry of an excuse to endulge in lust. And I'm glad that I found that out before losing myself entirely. An expensive lesson I'll always be greatfull for, but never proud to have experienced.

Pensive Kitten...

2006-04-30T02:30:00.000-07:00

"Why are you being so pensive?"

He would ask me this whenever my eyes would dart to one side and have the rest of my body follow it's direction. I would fall silent and sit with my thoughts again; some of which being either idle or wasted. Every now-and-then, I can't help but return to where I started and be saddened by what's placed before my eyes.

The truth is that in every minute I spent in blurry wonder, I would be asking myself why I was so drawn to you. So drawn that even at the expense of my own better judgement, I spat at myself and fell head over heels; face first with no regrets. But I've since come to realise I plunged to my death the moment I kissed back, after you pulled me against you with such force that locked every joint in my body and shut every thought in my mind. A curious wonder.

Till now, its a task to rescind from my demise.

There is so much I want to say, but it wouldnt feel right to disclose here. I'm just hurt by the reasons you chose her over me; which is unfair. Perhaps you are right in saying that I can never love another person who has been jaded by Life's cruel flick of a finger and God's dismissive anger.

I am so confused even as I am writting this. I'm not even sure if its love or hate that I'm filled with. My heart exploads by the minute and stabs by the hour spent with you.

I'm being pensive again, arnt I?
Pls remember to unplug from my brain on your way out.

Its for your own gd...

______________________________________________________________________________

But rants aside, I'm doin my best to put this childish infatuation to bed with me tonight...

"Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can’t say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love,it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball..." -Damien Rice 'Cannonball'

CARE!

2006-04-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

Why should I care if you dont care that I care? I cant care to care anymore... sick of caring abt caring abt/for you...

(Just reading this sentance just makes you sick about caring, dont it?)

care,

care,

care,

care,

care,

care,

care,

care,

care,

care,

care,

CARE,

CARE,

CARE,

CARE,

CARE,

/FAILED/COMMAND
PRESSkey to continue

OMG

2006-04-27T13:50:00.000-07:00

Oh My Gawd;

God is so going to punish me... =O

(hahaha...)

The Droller and the Cherub...

2006-04-26T02:49:00.000-07:00

I have come here too often; a place that is all too familior.
The crossroads of my thoughts brought together by my childish demeanor.
The Droller and the Cherub play roles in this game of hearts.

My heart desires for the Cherub everyday, like a constant clasp for a fleeting balloon that dances in mid air. But each time my fingers feel close enough to his strings, he pulls away and floats further than the last. It is frustrating to watch and many times I've wanted to stop running after it, watch as it drifts through the wind in aimless affair.
He is delicate and pure; but mostly unattainable. He hardly stops. And when he does pause awhile to let me admire his sheer beauty, my heart always sings a different tune. With him I see the softer calmer side of me raising to his smile. I yearn to love him the way he deserves and clean the wounds that still tear from repeated afflictions constantly thrown to him.

While the Cherub fleets and flirts, the Droller is more certain of his feelings and thoughts toward me. I must admit that dispite crumpling under his cruel humour and glaring words, I cannot help but feel drawn to him. With him, he brings out a certain diction in me with sensations I was once too afraid to acknowledge. As much as every fiber of my body tells me to abstain from his pressence, I cannot help but find myself running to his embrace.

Of the two, I can tell that the Droller cares far more about me than of the Cherub. He calls me his angel, his baby and every other affectionate word known to our vocabulary. With him, I never feel neglect, which is something I have always craved to feel from any man. But I cannot help but be saddened, for this new found sensation isn't from the Cherub which I yearn so much to be with. In the Droller's lips I am weak from his wine of attention and passion.

But happiness still roams in the eyes of the Cherub.

Paint the town red; LETS GO!~

2006-04-24T03:13:00.000-07:00

Dancing to Modest Mouse - Float On...

/dancing shaking moving hip swaying twisting maddness/

Wed nite, we gonna P-A-R-T-Y again! Wooo-Ouu-woo-ouu!~~~

Terrible angels...

2006-04-23T02:07:00.000-07:00

I guess that's that... /shrugs...

"If every angel's terrible
Then why do you welcome them
You provide the birdbath
I provide the skin
And bathing in the moonlight
I'm to tremble like a kitten...

Oh if every angel's terrible
Then why do you watch her sleep
You love to hear her sing
And wear purple eyes like rings
Well the flowers have no scent..."

The soap box speaks again!

2006-04-21T02:51:00.000-07:00

'The real thing' - Bo Bice

Tell me what we got, tell me it's a lot tell me it's the real thing
Tell me not to change and always be the same, tell me that's a good thing
It's a good thing
Tell me not to lie, tell me not to wait
Tell me that you want the same things as me
Tell me that it's fate driving me insane
Tell me it's the real thing
That keeps me hangin on

===

I really dont mind waiting for you,
but every ounce of my body is just drained...
not of passion but of sanity.

Like a broken shower heater; you're one moment hot and the nxt, NOT? why?
Oh no, dont get me wrong but i'm not hard up; just hung up.
thought we came from the same place...?
thought we understood each other's pain...?
but perhaps thats how you really felt during your pizza minute.

I'm done with the wondering and guessing what's on your mind.
I'm a person; I have a life... and i dont need another guy screwing that up for me again... =)

I can be hopeful but it'll only cloud my mind of whats real.
To wait can be a gd thing, but you're losing me with the unreturned phone calls and text messages...
Yes, keeping to our word can sometimes be the most important thing to anyone, even for a friendship it is...

That night you shared so much with me, i thought we had a connection?
Maybe its cheaper to unload on me than it is to hire garbage disposal...

Thought I could come in to heal the wounds, but i guess theres nothing to heal...
Guess you're just not that into me, thats all...

And thats okay... If only you could tell it to me and underline the echo in my brain; thats true comfort for me...

(Oh, dont mind me, i was just ranting...)

By your gaze, I've traveled and arrived at my stop.

2006-04-11T18:46:00.000-07:00

By your gaze you've made me a wonderer.
I've traveled up, down and across your face;
never able to stop at just one place.

In between the pauses and lost breaths,
You've surfaced in me a ludicrous mess.

And with your smile; that splendid prize you flash,
I finally gave in to my struggle; I decided to crash.

Then I hummed in lyrical triumph as your lips cushioned my fall.
No longer could I hear the World's passing call.

Unfeeling but never unloving...

2006-03-20T01:39:00.000-08:00

This morning, I woke up without a single feeling as Life injected herself back into my body. Perhaps it was through sleep deprivation, or then again, maybe not. I would never know, my mind is constantly running in the midst of everyday chaos struggling to survive the traffic of my thoughts.

I looked upon a Book, still there on the ground where I'd left it. It was a beautiful story, bitter and sweet as I'd always favoured it to be. I remember the excitment that curtained around me when I first flipped it from cover to end. I knew at that moment that this was the book for me; this was the breakthrough Novel I've been waiting for.
But through time, I soon grew weary and started questioning my anticipation as I raced through its pages not daring to take another breath. As each day took its toil, I continued to cling onto the promised image of that 'perfect ending' dispite everything. Somehow, I 'knew' it was there, waiting to be read. So I pressed on and on until...

Looking upon it's aged skin now, I recall it's pages that once held a certain fondness to me, with words that breathed new life into my dreams. But I have since closed its cover now, for what feels like only a few days ago. It was, what I'd perceived to be it's ending. But was it? I cannot help but feel I'd err-ed.

Unable to make a decision to pick it up or discard it, a weight in my hands pressure me to flip through its dust caked pages and breathe new life into it. But the fear of disappointment precedes me now as I can no longer conjure up enough courage to cradle it as I once did. For now, another title sits on my side table, under my lamp, I gaze at it every night untill my eyelids fail to flutter any longer. Like the first, this story too is bitter and sweet. But is it just another near-forgotten book clade in thin shiny disguise? I shudder at the possibilities of those fears materializing once more.

I still feel the same now, unfeeling and uninspired. But more recently, heavy hearted. Perhaps it's from sleep deprivation, perhaps much more. Or perhaps it was the result of sheer curiosity when I lifted a dog-earred page today; one I swore never to unreval as long as I'd kept it on the ground. A fluttering page caught my attention and seduced me like a moth to a flame.

And now I'm caught with a finger wedged between the pages of each book - unable to decide which cover to close.

Si Sean ay mi hombre!

2006-02-28T14:14:00.000-08:00

I am here,
you are there.
The sweetest slice of magnolia;
The single touch of dew.
You've covered my skin with the scent of euporia.
So amazing;
so arousing.
its madness everwhere!
Pure ecstasy that is.

You've made me shiver in pure delight before,
And now my days now will never be the same.
I'll never be sober again.

I breathe your air.
I've traded my heart for a moment spent with you.

Miss na miss kita,
magandang ka.
Bahala na;
mahal kita...

Stay...

2006-01-30T16:41:00.000-08:00

Stay awhile.
Stay; like you used to.
Tell me what's on your mind again.

The 30 second wait...

2006-01-27T00:55:00.000-08:00

SUGAR magazine once said that 'if it takes you more than 30 seconds to decide whether or not to keep something (that you're wearing), chuck it.' Presumerbly, I would like to think that we should draw these same parallels when we meet someone for the first time.

Normally, it would take about 3 seconds for an attraction, 15 seconds for a pre-impression and the next 5 seconds for a pre-assesment. So I guess all it takes for an average person to pass a first impression is about 23 seconds give or take. The other 7 seconds are for living up to those first impressions and surviving it.
The amount of time it takes for a first impression to remain; a life-time.
So if he/she isn't able to captivate you the same way that pair of shoes did for you in the store window, I'd suggest chuking them away and buying those shoes instead.

Then what about infatuation? When does it take place and how long must you wait till you know you're being chuked away? And if you do survive not getting 'dismissed', how long will your impression stay with them?

Persistence a trade for stubborness?

2006-01-25T23:37:00.000-08:00

Should persistence be seen as a positive action, or a negetive one? According to the Longman dictionary, it is an action that makes a person 'continue firmly inspite of oppositiion or warning'. But is it another word used to replace 'stubborness' during times of denial instead? So when should a person know if he is being 'persistent' or 'stubborn'? But if one thing's for sure, the thin line that seperates them is 'hope'. The hope that somehow, things would make a turn really soon if you were just able to do something at the right moment and prove to the World with that incredible payoff that was to come.

I was one of them - always hoping and wishing while everyone else who stood by called me a fool. Perhaps I was blinded by the hope that maybe someday he could find that same feeling in his heart to love me again. The notion of winning him back was the only drive that kept me alive for the past three months. Little did I know that i was slowly destroying myself instead, shunning away from the only fact that remained - he was never coming back - and I had to find a way to live with it.

Earlier this morning, I sent him a text msg to wish him well on his birthday. A year ago, we'd spent the day differently - we were together. But instead, all I have now is his picture smiling behind the screen of my cellphone.
Well, He never replied and I guess I'd prefer to keep it that way. I remember after sending it, I immediately turned my cellphone to silent and flipped it face down so I could go to bed w/o wondering.

After today, I finally made the decision to put an end to my empty pursuit. I mean, whats the point of fighting a lost cause when you know you've already lost? Unlike other fights, I was on my own and he was gone. It just took me a longer time to embrace acceptance.

===

Btw, Happy Birthday, Urich.

Does fear lead to desperation?

2006-01-19T09:07:00.000-08:00

Today I got myself thinking and asking myself about what I'm really looking for. Wasting my time with married men isn't the perfect plan for harmony; and neither is spending time and effort trying for a relationship with a guy who's simply not interested in starting one.

I guess in times of desperation, fear pushes us to make choices that are often considered unthinkable. The fear of being single and alone is always a problem especially as age catches up and friends around you seem to be pairing up effortlessly. You look around feeling genuinly happy for them, but at the same time upset and secretly wishing it could be you. Then you start to ask yourself;

"Why am I alone on a Friday night; again?"

But although we're desperate, doesn't mean we've all stopped thinking. So why put ourselves on the line for more hurt instead of comfort? Do we tend to push the limits of security and ignore our own judgement all in the hope of finding love or are we just kidding ourselves all in the name of fear?

Men and commitment - can we ever marry the two?

2006-01-19T03:17:00.000-08:00

For years, women have spent some - if not all - of their lives decifering the age old question of human relationships; are men able to commit? And if they are; why do they?

Last night, I received a text message from a teacher warning me of the consiquences if I continued to reciprocrate to his advances; but with a twist. In his own defence, I became the initiator which ofcourse isn't true. He has since apologized. So why do men turn around and bite back after they get caught for cheating? And if they weren't caught, what drives them to turn around? The man I have just singled out is already married. In another seperate incident, I was invited to dinner by a different man last week. To my disappointment, he too is married.

So my question remains. If married men are unable to up-hold their vows, then what hope is left for other single men out there? Should we just skip the whole painful process and simply forget about dating?

I 'killed' him with the words 'I'd think abt it'...

2006-01-17T02:29:00.000-08:00

It's two in the morning and I know I have to get up early later, but I don't care. Earlier this afternoon, I finally met up with 'F' to turn down his photoshoot/shortfilm offer just so to have him know I'm not keen to be closely associated with him.

"Are you sure? Are you VERY SURE about this? Have you thought this one through?"

I just sat there blowing smoke in his direction and spat out a dry reply while he coyly picked up his wine glass. Then he brought up the more important question - if I was still able to attend the party with him next weekend.

F: "It's very simple; yes or no?" - he took one sip of wine.

F: "Yes?" - then another.

F: "You know, you can always tell me what's on your mind; i can take it... a glass or two, (and) i'd be fine...haha, so which is it, yes or no? Hmmm?" - and tossed back the last mouthfull.

At that point, I could tell what he was more interested in. I never knew the power of saying "I'd think about it" to a guy untill today... So I teased him, asking 'is that a threat'? And that was when he threw in the Ace;

F: "There are going to be alot of single people; single guys and single girls. Lots of them are going to be there you know?"

Me: "Can I get you another drink?"

He shoke his head...

Me: "...Darling, you can't tempt me that way... stop it; you're being cute..."

The look on his face afterward told me everything I needed to know; I wrapped up the meeting and lit myself another cigarette... I'm just thankful he didn't ask me for a hug.

Age: 19+ Occupation: Misstress... !

2006-01-15T02:24:00.000-08:00

I am miserable.

Its been two weeks and still no idea what to do for my final project. Another week of procrastination and i'm dead meat. To make things easier for me, i'm given a choice between working on an old theme and coming up with a new one. But since which ever just doesn't seem to work for me, i feel forced to return to my previous theme.

And still on the topic of choices, I was faced with the toughest last night. I was really excited when I was approached to be the star of a solo photography exhibition by a renowned artist. But all that startd to fade as soon as I was given a new proposal on top of the same photography and shortfilm offer he made; to become a misstress. Earlier, he told me he was single but changed his claim after I asked about his marital status. At that point, my heart sank with me while i gently stroked the red leather interior of his black Porche. It was to be my first and last time in that lovely car.

Experience told him I wasn't keen, so new offers to take me on trips, lavish parties, car races and expensive dinners started pouring in throughout the evening. And as he held my hand from across our dinner table telling me sweet nothings, I was asking myself why wasn't I waking up from this nightmare. EJECT EJECT! - but nothing worked. He was still sitting across the table, telling me how much he adored me and such.

I just want to be part of an art project, not a misstress... why do good offers always seem too good to be true? Looking out the window didn't do me any good as his car sped faster and faster, weaving through traffic and cutting into lanes. Clearly he was upset because thrice I thought I was going to die with him in that car.

Fortunately, we made it back to my place all in one piece. What happened later was very unexpected. After parking the car in hibernation, he leaned over and tried to hug me. I was shocked. Immediately, i placed my hands on the handle ready to rush out of the vehicle. He stopped me and asked for a handshake instead. I thought nothing of it until he tried pulling me toward him. At that point, I pushed him away and shot out of the car like a bullet.

This is one experience I don't ever wish to repeat. After half a pack of ciggs, I finally calmed down well enough to return to my home and look composed.

jinx...~

2006-01-11T00:26:00.000-08:00

That night, Sam did call back and we had the longest conversation we ever had...
Well, his birthday is coming up and guess i'd be spending it with him... I'll give u a hint when it is; i've nic named him 'jinx'; so go figure... =)

Oops!

2006-01-05T23:37:00.000-08:00

Oops! Too much In-Formation...!

I've decided to take a break from men for awhile and focus on my final yr project.
This whole 'Sam' episode's just making me kind'a sick right now... So much so that I'm gradually heading towards Smokersville... Yea, I know I know, I've heard it all... I'll sign up with the programme after I've finished my new pack of ciggs... Can't waste my 11 bucks anywayz...

Anywayz, just a hint for the ladies who are looking for desperate men, Sim Lim Square is just the place... Yes, you've heard right, its Sim Lim Square ( Now, write it down)...
The men are just bored, horny and NOISY! Erm, and the dresscode for the 'event'? Anything!
Serious, take it from my experience today... I wore a pair of jeans with a zip-up jacket... See what I mean?
Oh, and another thing; there's PLENTY of them to go around, just incase you were wondering so there's no need to rush for the buffet all at the same time, LOL... /wink/

Where sld we go?/ puppy eyes and tiny pouts...

2006-01-04T10:45:00.001-08:00

There's a saying; "Show me the most beautiful woman in the World and i'll show u a man who's tired of sleeping with her." It sounds very unpleasant doesn't it?

Just last night, i came to realize that it's better to be alone, rather than to be with someone who's not good for u... There are perhaps some others who might think otherwise, i know this coz i was once like them Once Upon A Time... But there'll come a day when it'll breakdown, and we'll meet their friends, and be with their friends and their friends; until there's nowhere else to go... Then u might ask;

"Where can i go?"

Well, at least i can go home for now...

===

Told Sam this morning that this wasn't working for me. This 'friendship' or whatever he might prefer to call it just wasn't going too well... Most of the time, I'd feel like I'm being tossed around by him, getting most of phone calls unanswered and all. This really pissed me off and got me thinking that maybe its time I call it quits before I find myself at the bottom of another pit again. It didn't take me long to make this decision, just alot of heartache.

So breakfast was a cup of coffee and three sticks of ciggs, followed by an appologatic phone call from Sam at lunch time and two more sticks until I was at the verge of passing out... This may not sound like much for some, but this is the first time I've smoked five ciggs in a day... Shitit; damn was I pissed. Instead of locking myself in my room sulking all day, I went out to get some sound advice as well as some non-biased opinions.

Thinking back, my heart felt really sick while Sam poured out his soul over the phone asking me what he can do to mend things then begged if he could still attend the closing Auction with me this weekend. I let my guard down in an instant. With just a simple word of 'sorry' coming from his lips, my inner dragon was slayed and I was his. Esp when he reminded me about the times we've spent together, my mind gagged and I lost my head again. While drowning in my whrilpool of emotions, Sam promised to make amends and said he'll call me back later tonight. I don't see what else he has to discuss with me, after highlighting his 'committment issues' and the 'lets-be-friends-first' thing in our conversation. Well, this will stand as a test for him. And if he doesn't call back, my answer will be clear.

Can Men commit?

2006-01-03T23:06:00.000-08:00

As you're reading this post, you'll find that I'm clearly in a very sticky state of confusion... Let me ask you, have you ever questioned yourself about the person you're dating or giving your heart and soul to? Ever wondered what goes on in their heads, if they're faithful, or worst of all, have they EVER lied to you about your arse not being big? Okay, that third point was just a joke.
My real question for the day is about the big T-word; Trust. How would you know if you can trust the person you've been going out with?

I've been thinking about it on and off during the day, thinking of all the possibilities that could be running through Sam's mind... I guess this is the common paranoia that happens when i'm seeing someone new... I just dont get it, shouldn't i be happy? but i'm not, even though he's attractive and all... lately, i've spotted a love bite on his neck and it didnt come from me... he's explained it all, but my girlfriends have put an 'X' on his forehead after hearing about it from me... No he has no gf, or so he claims... /ponders really hard/
Sometimes, his mixed signals are killing me, but he never fails to scoop me up the moment i start to doubt about him and his intentions... Its like he's telepathic; think i've mentioned that before... I guess if i were my own shrink, i'd tell me to stop seeing him... but my appetite tells me to stay and enjoy the buffet... Kim Cathrall would prob be proud of me right now...

Ugh, Damn! I'm sick of circling around my head all day wondering about Sam... So to put my mind off him, I made a call to Puppy and all was well again... Somehow, i feel like a bloody hypocrit after lying to Sam about not seeing another guy... I dont see the need to be honest with him anyways coz i have this feeling in my gutt that he's not staying for long... not that there's anything wrong with our 'friendship' now, its just that he's got his heart settled in Hong Kong... The darling is clearly mixed up about where he wants to belong... Having trottled around the World and put up for awhile at each place he visits, I would have expected him to have his mind settled at one place at least...
So in the cab during our converstaion the other day, I leaned over and suggested he move to Hong Kong... Thats when he twisted his lips and gave me this rather puzzled look, afterwhich he looked me in the eye and cooed "... well i've met you..."
Wonder what was going through his mind at the time; hrmmm...

Men; you guys are so hard to understand 90% of the time...! Has anyone ever told you that? And another question I would lyk a guy to answer for me is is it so hard to commit? Seriously...? For further discissions on this topic, i suggest taking a visit to ivillage before asking me out for coffee... there's an article on the topic of men and commitment... Right now, i've got to get out of this fucking chair and call someone...

Quando Quando Quando...

2006-01-02T15:24:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! And a fucking New Year to you!

Ah, sigh...~ Woke up this morning at 11 to the all familior voice of Sam... Didnt expect him to call but it sure was nice ruffing up the sheets and pulling them over my head while his voice hummed gently against my ear... Wish I could start my day this way every morning...~

As for last night, it was fabulous! I felt like the envy of so many girls as they drooled over my date all evening... Whenever their eyes met mine, they'd smile politely and i'd return a similor gesture while Sam'll pull closer and cosy up with me... Its like he's telepathic; he's amazing! I mean well, he can be very clique at times, like touching the small of my back while looking directly into my eyes and telling me he could look at them all evening without batting an eyelid, but all in all, the boy knows his manners... Gosh is he like a character out of a rusty Romance Novel that'll even have Jane Austin make a run for her money... Yes, he is THAT Amazing (with the capital 'A') And like every perfect Romance Novel, the night ended with a kiss... I'm gonna keep mum about that, haha

Putting that all aside, Amy thinks he's genuine just because we linked fingers and cuddled while he showed me family pictures on his cellphone... I don't know, perhaps my 'people sorting' skills have started to roll downhill after my hard lash by Urich... I'm so over him now and guess I've made my point by introducing him to Sam at the bbq last night... I'll just stop here just incase he's reading this now...

Well, i'm getting the girls to meet us later for our most talked about triple date; CAN'T WAIT! Hope all goes well, esp since i'm introducing one of my best girlies to Kenny... And most of all, I can't wait to see (correction; feel) Sam again... =P

He is Sam...

2005-12-31T19:20:00.000-08:00

Its been such a bad gloomy day for me this weekend, and to say this is supposed to be the best coz its the last day of the year! But alas! Things werent so merry today... The weather's a bitch, Shopping's a bore and my darling hasn't called (yet)!

Bother; perhaps its an omen that the yr ahead isnt going to be a good one... (TOUCH WOOD!)

O_O!!!

Meanwhile, i guess i'm starting to get lucky in the Love dept... Almost like clockwork, Sam gives me two surprise calls at work, and one during afterhours... Oh, forgot to mention, the darling's name is Sam... /blush/ Can't wait for tml coz we're gonna be spending the evening together, hee hee hee... (ah, finally~)

The smitten grim...~

2005-12-29T12:24:00.000-08:00

What can i say about x'mas? Yea i know, i'm pretty late on my post but oh shmucks i dont fucking care... Anyhow, that Sunday was plain... Went to church, met my kids... Gosh, they froze on stage during their number. All I could do was watch in horror and cringe...

"Ailin must be kicking herself in the boot right now", I thought and damn was i right about that... darnit...

Amy gave me my second Santa Jack doll which I hugged throughout the entire Service. Damn is my Santa Jack cute... love it...
So after lunch, went over to my grandma's to greet the rest of the family i havnt seen since Chinese New Yr... Oh yea, and all i needed was for my cousin Ming to ask me what happened to my bf he saw last x'mas...

"Oh, we broke-up"
"OH, haha, mmm, sorry..."

But putting all that behind me, dinner was even better... Saw my fav cousin Kenny again... Gawd did I miss him... Our Aunt took us to this Italian alfresco dining at the park and damn was it goooooood... I ate myself silly with escargot; shell after shell... Thinking after all that shit i've been thrown with, I totally deserved it...
===

I just received Kenny's 'x'mas pressie' last nite... He took me to dinner at the Raffles Hotel to hook me up with a friend of his and damn was he hot... I arrived late due to traffic (yea rite, shhhh) and Kenny showed me to our table... As I walked in, i was confused as there were at least three tables with a guy sitting at it, but the one infront of me caught my eye. All three guys had their backs faced to us.

"Which is...?"
"Oh, this one...", and OH-MY-GAWD he pointed to the gorgeous one infront of us.
"You sure?"
"Yea, he's sitting there.", and I had to tell myself not to forget to breathe...

breathe;
breathe...

We exchanged names, but I didnt pay attention to a thing he said for the first 5 mins... So yea, I didnt get his name but I didnt care... HE'S HOT! and thats the only thought that ran through my mind... I thought I was going to collaspe... Then he escorted me to the washroom and I thought my mind was about to explode... He's tall, has a hot bod (he works out), fair, v sharp features, and the lips; wow... He talks with an accent coz he studied in the States; Damn, He's perfect!
We had an instant connection and that topped it off for me...
Our date ended at the Chocolate Bar where we shared fondue and plenty of laughter... It was his first time there and from what i've been told, he wants to go there again... All in all, he got my number from my cousin called me last nite... Looks like i've got a second date with him...! Gosh... I was so happy last nite that I forgot to smoke! Hee hee... Well, hope things work out between us... ^_^

The smitten grim; thats me...~

La mer...

2005-12-22T04:08:00.000-08:00

"La mer...
Qu'on voit danser le long des golfes clairs,
A des reflets d'argent...
La mer...
Des reflets changeants,
Sous la pluie..."

===

Just a moment ago, I was talking with my brother.
After hearing what I had to say, he wrote these words;

"... I don't think he's serious. I know for sure... sorry..."

There was more, but these were the words that I was confronted with...
And as soon as I read it, I felt as if the wind was knocked right out of me;
I became thin and transparent... and everyone walked right though me...

"...sorry..."

Stress Kills... BEWARE

2005-12-20T01:05:00.000-08:00

I read in an article that stress can kill, so i'd better load off all my anger in this post...

Just when I thought things cldn't get any worse for me, I'd just got picked up by four cashiers, two tourists and a local who appeared 'lost'; all in one month... Hey wait, the month isnt even up yet...

"A local who appeared 'lost'", what am I talking about? Okay, how do you answer a guy who asks what street he is on, when the road sign is just above your head? My point exactly... Well, I wldnt say that all the guys were ugly, only a few... But at least two were head turners... Too bad one of them is still in Taiwan where I left him. He said he'd come and visit, but I'm not counting on it anywayz. But am I just making all this up? Then what do you make of it when someone says to you,

"I end work at 12. Why not you drop by again, later?"

===

Well, at least I know i'll always have 'K'. He's stuck around for about a year now dispite having a gf and a few more flings under his wing. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special... Suddenly, I've been promoted to 'baby'; wonder how that happened since I havn't been replying for the past three months. Funny how my 'subscription' isn't up yet too. But whatever it is, its always nice to receive a surprise msg that tells you you're being thought of and greatly missed.

And now I'm thinking that it'll mean alot more if it came from the same person who you've been thinking of too. Amy says I should just give in to my stubborness and give that special guy a call... But after all that's happend? How can I ever get myself to pick up the phone and dial his digits again? Secretly, I really miss talking to him... sharing cupcake and watching tv together...

Just Paranoid?

2005-12-17T18:12:00.000-08:00

During my trip, my tour guide slot in an Andy Lau video; 'Till You're Older'... As I was watching it, I found it so amusing about how a little boy would be desperate to grow up so he could run away from his disfunctional home. But as the story progressed, he found out that his teacher (Cherrie Ying) had fallen in love with a much older principal (Gordon Lam) , which turned out sour. Thats when i started paying attention to the film.
While being consoled by Andy, he asked her why she kept her feelings for Gordon alive, since well, the guy didnt care about her anymore. Similor to my case, it was age issues as well. All her later responses were filled with bitterness and how she still equally adores him dispite the sudden harsh rejections. All Andy could say was,

"... but he doesnt care anymore, don't bother liking him anymore. Why not like me instead? Possible?"

It was at this moment I wished I had an Andy Lau sitting beside me. Haha...
But all cheekyness put aside, ever since I jet-setted for Taiwan, I seem to find myself being confronted by every show thats on television. Its like i'm never left alone, and this is definately not helping me in anyway on my road to recovery...
Esp during my trip; not only did I have to sit through painful films likes these, but to also witness a couple get together during the trip. The guy is 16, and the girl is only 13. I know its only a three year gap, but seriously, its like an older person with a girl who's just hit puberty!
God has this sick sense of humour i'll never understand sometimes.

" Don't go blaming the man up stairs...!" - Yes, thats my television set going off again...

Not a Black Tie Affair / Just close the book

2005-12-15T07:27:00.000-08:00

Such an eventfull day it's been...

Just got back from Front Room Gallery abt 2 hours ago, so tired.
I'm glad that Gim, Shan and my mom turned up at this show that I'm participating in; yes, very proud that i'm in it, haha... Tks for turning up, really... =)

Also very happy to have found two very charming and like-minded girls, Lee Kai and Xing Yu... The three of us were ushering together... So what else do three very bored usherers do? Talk!~ LOL!
But we did have those moments when we had to bring our guests around and I was left with nothing to do... Thats when I found a guest book from a previous show and flipped through it, hoping to find some familor names... There was Justin, Victor; and the names went on till I stumbled upon a name... I paused; then lazily traced every line and followed every curve which formed his name, till I reached the end of it and shut the book...

I wish it were this easy to keep the bad memories out; Just close the book.

Waiting for a cure...

2005-12-07T08:43:00.000-08:00

People have told me that Vacations can really do wonders, esp for the broken hearted. So I was really looking forward to this trip; smiling, hopeful and so full of excess emotional baggage, I couldn't ask for more. I was desperate for a 'cure'.

So for the next seven days of my life, my mind was reduced to 'Eat', 'Sleep', 'Shop' and 'Socialize'. I did feel a little happier; actually felt a smile on my face. In the beginning I cried a little because I was so relieved by the joy I thought I had forgotten, but slowly and gradually it started to grow on me and I loved it.

Dispite my best efforts to cheer myself up, his memory still has an impact on me.

Something beautiful...

2005-11-29T10:07:00.000-08:00

That night you suddenly held me and poured out your heart,
and while we cuddled close i felt our differences drift apart.

And as you rubbed my shoulders and circled them with your thumb,
all the care in the World just drifted and my body went numb.

The moment that you kissd me i never wanted things to end,
so i took a few deep breaths and slowly held your hand.

I looked at you while you weren't looking and I smiled like a perv;
thats when it finally hit me that i had fallen in love.

I felt myself in your gaze,
it was soft; i was amazed.
I cant recall a time i've ever felt this way.

Like a dream so did the night,
it ended faster than our light.

Then the following day ( that Friday ) began the same way like it should,
we had coffee with our frinds; could this last? I thought we could.

That evening over the phone you texted a msg and we were over.
First came shock then denial, then the tears; they boiled over.

That night you suddenly held me and poured out your heart;
but now you turn away because we're 11 yrs apart.

I'll always remember our first kiss and how you finally broke my heart.
If someone ever asks i'd let em know age kept us apart.

I'm dizzy now; DND... xD

2005-11-25T02:30:00.000-08:00

He likes me, too!!! ^_^

joy

joy

joy

/smurks a silly face/

MISSING YOU - Robert Rodney Ruelas

2005-11-16T01:14:00.000-08:00

IF MISSING YOU COULD BLACKEN STARS, THERE'D BE NO MIDNIGHT SHOW.

IF MISSING YOU COULD MAKE IT RAIN, THE SEAS WOULD OVERFLOW. IF MISSING YOU COULD

MAKE IT HOT,THERE'D BE DESERTS ALL AROUND.

IF MISSING YOU COULD SILENCE NOISE, THE EARTH WOULD HAVE NO SOUND.

AND SO I GO NOW DREAMING OF WHEN I'M HOLDING AND KISSING YOU.

FOR ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH IT HURTS WHEN, MY LOVE,

I'M MISSING YOU.

Missing You -- Robert Rodney Ruelas

"I miss you"...

2005-11-15T02:12:00.000-08:00

Just saying "I miss you", just doesnt cut it anymore...

You're more than my happy thought; you're my missing piece...

... to make me complete...

"Is there a 'baby' in the room?"

2005-11-14T02:42:00.000-08:00

Is this allowed?
Is this feeling forbidden?
Like the apple given to Adam,
I took a bite and fell into
this state of confusion.

Why am I unable to get you off my mind?
Its like you climbed into my bed uninvited;
crawling into my mind while i slumber,
not knowing if this feeling is mine.

Maybe the feeling is mutual.
Maybe its not.
But how do i explain
the way we keep bumping into each other?

When we're alone
we just cant seem to walk straight;
we keep knocking;
colliding our shoulders and apologizing after.

The way you tell me not to go
Or that look you give me when we depart.
That puppy look when I feed you;
They keep tugging at my heart.

Just playing back all these memories backward
makes you seem closer to me.
Sometimes all i want to do
is lay in ur lap and feel your fingers through my hair.

Damn; I miss you...

'Delicate'- Damien Rice

2005-09-12T01:12:00.000-07:00

I cant help but look out the window
and stare back at my reflection against the blur of the traffic.

I cant help but stare far out into the missing horrizon
with a cold empty glass in hand and my lips pressed hard against it.

I cant help but let out a deep sigh
and let the clouds roll and pass me by
as i dream for a better ending to sweeten my days.

Why cant we look out the window together
and smile at our reflections against the blur of the traffic?

Why cant we share a loving embrace while over looking the horrizon?
Why cant I press my lips against yours that I crave so much to taste?

Why cant we cuddle untill the grey clouds roll over
and kiss as the mellow thunder rumbles under our feet
and the rain breaks through the sky?

My life is so full of regrets and sorrow,
mostly because I could never pluck up the courage
to talk to you when you were around;
Standing from a far distance is all I can do to spend time with you.

What I can wish for is to walk up to you one day
and tell you how nice the view is from there
and pray time would stand still for me
to capture your gaze and carry in my heart always.

-MoEy'E`

===

Isnt this poem just sweet? Wish I cld write like this...

IanSomerhalder...~

2005-09-10T05:23:00.000-07:00

Damn, Ian Somerhalder, you are SOOOOOO hOt!

'Lost' is so my fix for the day...

IAN!!!

Love (Pause)

2005-09-09T17:01:00.000-07:00

Its fifteen minutes past four AM. I've just finished a bowl of chicken noodle soup and cuddling with a shirt Davie gave me and I'm thinking to myself;

"What is love?"

(pause)

Its funny how I'm asking myself this question in the middle of the night, or in the middle of the morning to be exact. I was just reading off Shih Han's blog again and I cant help but wonder what he is going through right now. Ever since after the break-up, my feelings toward him have been mixed. One moment I feel alot of hate towards him for what happened, and the next, I feel sorry for him.
He should be on that island where they ship the new army guys to, asleep and missing home. But then someone should ask me why I'm even thinking of him when I hate him so much. Well, I'll tell you. Because even though we're seperated, I will always care for him and look out for him if I can. Recently, I guess I've put him through alot by avoiding most of his phone calls, slamming a few phone calls on him, changed my number without telling him and not returning his last call he made to my home. He says he wants to clearify things, but everytime I let him, it always sounds as disguesting as the last one; always going nowhere.

Do you ever get an ex that keeps caling you or doing all kinds of things just to remind you that he/ she's still around? Then they tell you they miss you, they're sorry, (if there was ever something to be sorry about), or they just want to start over? It just bugs you doesnt it? You just wish they didnt do all that sometimes because you're just done with trying and you know nothings going to change anything and you've already made up your mind. And the only thing you want to 'start over' is your life; the one you had before you met them. Well, that was exactly what went on in my mind everytime he called. It was obvious he wanted another shot at the relationship. But after whats happened, I find it very hard to do that unlike those other times we had.

Then the next thing that comes to mind is what to do with them. Becuase when this happens, you have two choices. You can either avoid them until you're ready or just reaccept them into your life as plain friends. But we all know that if we did the latter, they always misread the intention and start bringing in the flowers and chocolates. We dont want that to happen, so we avoid them and hope they'll understand. If not now, at least someday they might.

I guess at this point people might be thinking that till now I should have mentioned the reason for the seperation. Well, I'm not going to. It stays between us.

There is something I would like him to know tho. We all have to know when enough is enough. And when that time comes, turn around and never look back because what was once there just isnt anymore. Memories will always stay but new love always finds its way.

===

"Can it be saved?"
She asked; and I looked up to her half expectent face.
My brows buckle toward my forehead and I look down at my feet before returning back to her curious gaze.

"No."
My lips twist to a corner and curl as I swing my head back down again to stare at the bottom of my glass, hoping to find 'something'. I gently rocked the last remaining ice cubes back and forth in silence as the Sun leaned over to kiss the Earth goodnight.

Evening Star

2005-09-06T00:15:00.000-07:00

Evening Star

Thou fair hair'd angel of the evening,
Now, while the sun rests on the mountains light,
Thy bright torch of love; Thy radiant crown
Put on, and smile upon our evening bed!
Smile on our loves; and when thou drawest the
Blue curtains, scatter thy silver dew
On every flower that shuts its sweet eyes
In timely sleep. Let thy west wind sleep on
The lake; speak silence with thy glimmering eyes
And wash the dusk with silver. Soon, full, soon,
Dost thou withdraw; Then, the wolf rages wide,
And the lion glares thro' the dun forest.
The fleece of our flocks are covered with
Thy sacred dew; Protect them with thine influence.

-Blake

===

I wish I cld say that I wrote this but the truth is I didnt...

Trust and Faith

2005-09-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

"Trust is a very big word, Faith... Remember that..."

Technology

2005-09-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

'Technology makes people lazy'

I'm thinking of more 'wise sayings' to put up here... I dont know, i just thought of that one up...

DinnerDateCanceled

2005-08-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

This evening I was at Takashimaya hopin to pick out some felt for a new project, but unfortunately Art Friend ran out of variety... Guess i'll pick some at Bras Basah's outlet some time during the week. Thought I needed the shopping to blow off some steam I had since the late afternoon when Davie canceled our dinner date.
Ironically, I'm listening to Craig David's 'Rendezvous' on my stero right now.

On my way down to Town from today's Teacher's Retreat with Angelyn, I just couldnt help but confide in her about my utter disappointment with Davie and other men related topics which I shall not disclose.
I've been giving some thought about it and I've been wondering if i'm just over reacting about the whole thing. Afterall, he did apologize and give me a reason for the last min cancelation. But I guess this heavy grey cloud isnt going anywhere. Like what Angelyn said; I do have the right to be upset, and she did say that if she were in my shoes she would definately feel the same.

So, why do I feel bad about it?

Yes;WeAre...

2005-08-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

Work keeps piling up all the time... Its just so depressing when you know u're this close to completing a set of work, when a new set is suddely thrown at you; then it sets a whole chain of projects getting flung at you in all directions ALL AT ONCE! its amazing how NAFA wants to make my life a miserable story... but oh well, thats 3rd yr for me i guess... /pouts and ponders/

Well anyways, I came to realize some time ago that you guys really DO read my blog, so i guess this sld be the place to make my announcments and confessions... So yup, for those that have been wondering 'are they really together?', the answer is 'yes we are'; and we havnt been happier...

NationalDay/GrpShow/PoorHeady

2005-08-10T09:46:00.000-07:00

Sat at the window with Shan and her friend as the fireworks went off; one by one like flowers as they exploded with grace. The window was semi sound proof, muffling the loud 'booming' sounds that normally comes after them. I plugged in 'As the rush comes' as background music and played it in my head as i watched them twill and emerse with the night sky in slow motion. As it all happened, I watched while contemplating my silent thoughts.

"Plenty of time for that..."

Thats what i always tell myself when I have to redirect my attention to something else, esp while i was at 'Your Mother's Gallery" viewing Warren, Jeremy and Dan's work... Out of the few that was on disply, I really liked Aidah's. She made little cute felt Kuehs (Malay for cakes) and sealed them into cereal boxes. Her concept of 'Chance' was something I could relate to as her work followed very closely with the popular Japanese toy culture of sealing a variety of toys in boxes with every box containing a differnt piece without any indication of what is hidden inside. Naturally, I bought one... =)

At the show, I met lots of friends i havnt had the chance to meet up with in a while... Friends like Guang Feng, Dan, Kai gor gor, Kah Kit, and Urich... There were also alot more other familior faces there too, but too bad I'm not 'buddies' with some yet; like Andree and Jason for instance...
Well, Lee Wen recognised me and we spoke for awhile until he gave me an idea of doing a performance piece. Sounds really fun and I guess i'll start thinking of something to do... =) Meanwhile, I still have to do my Chingay project; and lots more... Yuckh...

My head still hurts after knocking it into a railing... Darn it...

Hey! I got a Twin I never knew abt! =D

2005-08-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

My Gawd, Michelle Branch has just delivered a healthy baby girl! Damn, I feel so old!
Sometimes I do wonder what being a mom is like... wld the moms pls PM me during your free time? =) Heehee, tks...

Anywayz, I found out on Wed how important it is to carry chocolate around... This kid on the bus; about 3-4 yrs of age, was making such a fucking racked... From ranting gibberish to spelling S-I-N-G-A-P-O-R-E 10 times before shouting it at the top of her lungs, the spectical was all too much for everyone on the bus... Then the little girl climbed to the top of her seat and gazed at me in total curiosity as i dug deep into my bag for some chocolate... My idea was to have her mouth be too preoccupied to scream and enjoy the rest of the journey with perfect silence... But she broke into a conversation with me for a while, asking me about where I got the chocolate and all, then her sister asked if i was saving the two sticks of chocolate for them... Lol, it was so cute... Funny their mom didnt say anything coz she fed them sunflower seeds moments ago so I figured they were organic...

Well, thats not the highlight of my week... I have two actually... First is my 1st year anniversary with my baby on Sunday... =D we had a great time dat day... details will be kept confidential; thank you very much... The second ofcourse is I've officially found my twin! yea, tts right! I never knew I had a twin... eh, not bioligical, but just that he and I are like so COMPLETELY ALIKE! I'm totally not kidding... Yep, Davie is officially my twin from today on... lol...

This is so cool... I dont know what else to say; I'm just too excited...

Taking the day off...

2005-07-30T15:54:00.000-07:00

I'm still taking a day off today, doing absolutely nothing. I need this silence more than anything coz the weeks' been just hell for me... It sounds disguesting but I actually miss school a little... Kinda miss the mayhem and chaos thats constantly being thrown at me. If its none of that, then its fun and laughter from my fav bunch of idiots that I hang out with... lol...

Gee, I donno... was just watching American Pie just now and although its a very bad interpritation of Teen sexuality, its really given me a new perspective to what relationships are all about. I think i'm going to call my baby up and tell him I love him right now...

... yea, I think i'll go do that right now...

Fucking Workshop! Finally Ova! =D

2005-07-29T22:34:00.000-07:00

These past two weeks have killed me. I'm officially worn and torn... We had a two week workshop with this month's Artist in Residence; Amanda Heng. My God, I thought she might be something, but she turned out to be nothing more than a living joke. Shes another Femenist Artist with an 'aganda' who wants to 'stand out' and be 'different', while 'fighting' for women liberation. Ha Ha Ha... Listen; she actually thinks that cleaning a bunch of furniture and stuff is considerable enough to be named as an art form; Maintainance Art. My God, what a joke. I cant believe the school actually put someone like her incharge of directing us in a workshop for two weeks! I'm just glad its finally OVA! I just hate repeating myself to someone who never listens and jumps to all sorts of crazy conclusions and accusations. An example of my ordeal which almost cost me a mental breakdown;

Day 8 of the workshop:

Amanda: Now, I want to hear what all of you have... What have you all done so far?
Me: Well, we've interviewed most of the store vendors and had very little results...
( Amanda nodds with her mouth gaped opened as usual. )
But we did get some rather interesting results... ( I go on to elaborate )
Amanda: Okay, now what else do you have?
(She turns to Shi)
Amanda: So? Tell us what you have.
Shi: Urmm... We interviewed the people, the passabys... ( and so on, she elaborates a whole chunk like I did)
Amanda: Uh huh... Good...( looks satisfied) Now, what about the rest? ( She starts again, cutting everyone short of an answer)
Amanda: Now I feel that none of you know what you're doing. What... Who is supposed to do the interviews? Who is to do the tasks? How many? Who are the groups? ( And she goes on like this for the next few mins till I blow up at her and give her a piece of my mind.)

Sometimes, I really wonder what is going on in her head most of the time. Maybe this:

...

Well, an exhibition on Tuesday showcases all our group work so pls go for it!

Mon will hold a school sponsored lunch, to celebrate the end of our ( horrorandus ) workshop.

Tks Baby for helpin us out for the video editing! It wld never have been possible w/o you! Muacky!

Life is as dull as Me. =/

2005-07-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Mmm, escapades escapades... I wish I had some to share with you'all... My blog must be one of the most boring reads on the Net...

All I do everyday is get up really early in the morning, and get on with my sad life. On the weekdays its school, and on the weekends its whatever I want to make of it. Magazines, cooking and reading are some of my attempts to spice up my routine, but I feel its momentum picking up very slowly. Its at times like these that I always tell myself that Rome was never built in a day. Patience was something I desperately needed. Even my man tells me that. Sigh, I'm depressing. I guess it'll just be a matter of time when a stranger taps me on the shoulder and tells me I'm pathetic, then pointing out that my shoes match my make-up.

Its so dull, really. I think I need a new challenge. Something bigger to look forward to. I guess I'm no exception, so who am I to complain. Right?

So instead of staying home and sulking away, I spent the day with my girlfriends instead. We went out for lunch, and when Shi had to leave for work, I went shopping with Shan. Shopping really takes my mind off things, and meeting up with her after so long gave us lots to talk about. Well, some shop assistant at a toy store followed me around today and tried chatting me up, over hearing all my converstaions with Shan and became very helpful even when I didnt need any help. I think our retail service standards have finally hit Global. Thats refreshing. But seriously, I think I'm approaching some sort of a crisis. Maybe its a mood swing, only that its lasted for a few days now. I always tell myself that it might just be a silly teen phase. If only, then life wldnt be so dull. And till now, nothing much has changed. I'm still looking forward to my morning bus rides, my three meals and a bottle of Limenade every morning.

Another stupid post from me.

2005-07-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

Ugh.

Just kicked my knee into the coffee table on my way to the com. I think my house is just getting smaller the minute! ( Hate it )

Anywayz,

Ms Hong said something in her lecture yesterday during our Research Methodologies Drawing class. Before I go on, for those of you who are not in the know, I haven't gotten the slightest clue why they gave a lesson about drawing such an eye-brow-raising name.

"Children don't have the slightest sense of sequencing..." She chuckled this while holding up one of her daughter's scraws to her chest. I noted this down. As for the kid's drawing, I proberly would do the same thing if i were her.
(Don't get me wrong; i'm not dissing her for being proud at her kids.) Anywayz, I've always found her lessons to be more of a self advertising opportunity showcase more than anything else. Well, M Lee does it too. /shrugs/ I guess it only runs in the teachers who have spent the better part of their lives improving themselves to have a fixed audience hear how much they've accomplished and earned. I thought that was rather narcissistic for my taste. To be honest, it does get a little nausiating at times, esp when they pull out their CVs and give that same recycled self intro all over again. I'm just glad Michael didnt do it again this year during our first lesson with him yesterday. Oh, but dont get me wrong, I do like these people; both Michael and Sek Chern. Thing is, sometimes you just have to let people be themselves and forgive them for the non-deliberate things they do to tick us off our seats and barff. If they heard what I said about them, they'd proberly be pissing all over themselves.

So comming back to what Hong mentioned I was thinking to myself;
" Does that make me child too? "
I thought about this seriously for a while while noting my writting styles, then came back to what I was doing.

---

Damn, I was so mad at myself when I accidentally messed up my lunch today. I was preparing one of those fancy asian noodles for myeslf when those slippery fat things decided to meet the kitchen counter. I sulked at the mess for a while, then whipped the tears away and cleaned up for the next batch of noodles I'd make next.

I looked at the time and smiled at the the long afternoon I had all to myself! Anyways, I'd already did most of my hw for Boo's class and that made me all happy inside. Hee.

So that settled it. With so many hours in my hands I suddenly felt that for a start Time really was my friend. For today at least, coz I was finally on time for school this entire week. So I kicked in, had my lunch with the Opera Winfrey show on cable, cleaned up and snuggled up with my latest chic novel. Spent like four hours with it coz I cldnt wait to finish it and snuggle up to my new Sex bk I picked up at Kino yesterday, then felt I had to put it down and continue with my real life.

I guess i'm much to happy with my new time to even think of getting a part-time job. But I seriously have to discuss my shedule with Desmond if i'm going to use his jewellery workshop hush-hush... I guess while school ends at 11am most of the week, I can finally try out all those fabulous recipies I picked up from Boarders.
Alright, I have to get my recipie box all sorted out and Hong's hw done ASAP if i'm going to enjoy my weekend with Shih Han this week. Vendalizing; thats my assignment for the week. This really defines being held captive in a moment of La tortura for me; at least for now.

===
For my honey;

I want to trace you,
Define you
and let my fingers work on you; prancing all over your skin.
I want to kiss you;
make you moist so I can feel your every movement on my chest and gasp in delight.
I want you.
I want to feel your satin beauty all over my body like the air that surrounds me.

LifeSpent.

2005-07-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

I came home one day to find a paculiar moth, perched on the wall as tho staring at me while I opened the door to my house. Still looking at it, I shut the door very slowly so as not to scare it away.

Days went past and soon weeks followed. Time and again, this same black beautiful moth would visit me from time to time. Once, it even flew towards me and perched itself on my arm, as tho saying hello... =)

Then for weeks, it took a little holiday, then came back with a friend. ( a white one to be exact.) But from the very next day, it dissappeared for a while. Maybe yesterday, it came to say goodbye.

but on that faithful Wed when I came home, I found it lying on a stair with its wings folded together. It was acting a little funny all morning, lying dangerously on the stair with its wings spread open. Scared of what I was about to find, I inched a little closer at my little long lost friend.

I sat beside it for a while, then had a last look at it before I left. Someone once told me that moths never closed their wings but cliped them only when they died and commented that they looked like butterflies.

My friend may have spent its entire life trying to be a butterfly, only succeed at the end; but to me, it didnt need to try.

I whispered it a prayer and went back inside.

Guns in Nanny State

2005-07-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

ITs amazing what I'm seeing now on tv... yes, i'm watching trash tv, its 'Bowling for Columbine'... violence in schools, people shooting people, Americans blaming Marilyn Manson for sch violence? I mean, whats this?

And just last night while reading the papers, I saw a shocking article about Chestnut denying a shooting incident... Lol, is there not enough violence happening in our Nanny state that we have to go make our own violent stories? The story wld prob. be nothing but just another publicity stunt for the sch coz for 42 years, no ones heard of that sch that sits there at Chestnut Drive...

Shocking as the story sounds, it definately cannot be done by a gun... Crow culling guys are highly trained and are prob the only guys allowed to carry a rifle around. Other than them, we have pistol carrying police men, so where the hack can the guns come from? The last time i've heard of a shooting incident in Singapore was like years ago, even before I was born. The guys were Indonesian. But anywayz, they claim the windows of the school were damaged by the work of air guns... I know an air gun can kill at close range, but a window? Can a palet really do that much damage? A palet is like the size of a tiny metal ball baring... It cannot shatter a whole window. at close range? I donno, unless its poor quality glass... But air guns in the the hands of normal city folk? very unlikely... Lol!

So we can all sleep well tonight and worry about gang fights, because guns are only for the birds to worry about. Have you seen the crow culling in progress? If you have, lets chat. I'm actually thinking of setting up an anti crow culling campagin; save the birds. And no, SPCA will have no piece of this. After seeing their 'Sterilize your pet' campagin, i've made my mind not to do business with the mean people with two faces. Go read it sometime.

LoveBites/VendingMachine/LazyEvening~

2005-06-29T22:45:00.000-07:00

I'm suddenly comming to realise the importance and effectivness of love bites... why? well, I got me another new driving instructor today and yea, hes lyk in his late twenties like the other two and guess whad? He didnt ask me about my private love life... AT ALL! =D Wow! I'm so glad... Guess I sld ask my baby to give me more of those yummies more often... heehee~

===

Mmm, darn, I have no idea why I bought a miniature working vending machine... Its a tiny Red one thats sitting beside my computer... its so cute... lol... Theres a white one too, wonder if I sld get it, along with the miniature fax machine... LOL, YES, ITS A WORKING PIECE AS WELL!

Sorrie baby, but dont think the expensive miniature lamp you gave me is going to be displyed on any part of this table, just incase it falls... =X Wldnt want that to happen, coz its irriplacable! I treasure the things you give to me far too much, darling~ =D

---

Well, the tiny toy I made is still standing, looking at me in amusement by my remote, while my lazy cell naps in his own tiny black lounge chair... Snoring at the front of my desk are my four napping babies; three of which now live in my dresser... heee~

---

Mmm, think I wanna go give my baby a surprise phone call soon~ ^_^

3.30AM!/PERVERT!/Amy'sBack!/MSG

2005-06-27T00:15:00.000-07:00

Ugh... this morning at 3.30Am, M___ Y___ calls me on my cell phone out of pure bordem. I got so freaking mad at him that I just threw a fit at him before disconnecting the call... Dude, call me again at that motherfucking Godforsaken hour again and i swear, ur going to get a serious lashing from me! I'm serious okay? unlike you, some people have to SLEEP!

And to make matters worse, I didnt need to have J________ send me those obscene msgs to my cell... Somethings really the matter with him, telling me hes jerking himself off and he 'needs my help' etc? ASSHOLE! J________, if ur reading this, stay the hell away from me and dont you EVER contact me again! FREAK! Hell you already have a girlfriend! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING AND WHO THE FUCK DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?

JESUS!

===

Note:

1. Amy's back! ^_^

2. Food fair @ church today was a total success! =D Sold out all my sushi rice... Hee...

===

Shih Han;

I love you, Honey! Cant wait to see you and hold you in my arms so I can kiss you ALL I WANT! LOL!

*M U A X!*~

Oops~

2005-06-25T00:30:00.000-07:00

Hee, I received a much awaited phone call from my baby during my driving lesson today... it was so embarassing, but i didnt care... I just pulled up in the middle of nowhere in the driving circut to answer the phone call... And just incase ur wondering, i did feel very awkward being forced into a situation like that... LOL...

Anywayz, being busy with stopping the car saftely, i conviniently asked _______; my instructor, to reach for my cell from my handbag... So yea, he heard the entire mushy conversation I had with my baby... But u know what? I didnt care because i HAD to take this phone call; with people around or not... And after the call was over, ______ had this really glum look on his face, maybe coz I took up lesson time to answer a phone call which i labled as URGENT... =P

But anywayz, since this is the last lesson I have with him, _________ gave me his cell phone number just incase i needed to get intouch with him... I got the hint, but i politely accepted it; punching the digits in as he read them out to me... But as soon as i was some distance away, i conviniently slipped my carless finger onto the 'Red' button on the keypad... Oops~ n_n

What a day! =D

2005-06-23T23:20:00.000-07:00

Mmm~ A moan of satisfaction from me...
After a much needed manicure and facial, I feel sooooooooo refreshed and squeeky clean... =D

today was a terrific day for me i guess... and this week's driving instructor is soooo my fav for now... hes abt, i donno, 28? my best guess... hes very chatty, but at least unlike the last one, he doesnt pry into my private life which makes me feel very comfortable... besides offering me candy and sweets, hes really quite an okay guy... mmm, well, thats putting aside the "turn-off" requests hes been "HINTING" on me; like for example
"Maybe you cld take me to eat pasta sometime"
and my fav,
"You sld go for ladies night... you get to see lots of guys... I always go for ladies night with my frieds (and innocently reasons) NOTHING to do mah, so go lo... (and the ever persuasive) YOU SLD GO~"
and i replied like three times
"I'm committed".
Well, actually what i meant to say was that I'm already committed to a wonderful guy called SHIH HAN... =) Heee, makes my tummmy butterfly in all directions when i can firmly say i'm a straight girl; committed...

But putting that all aside, I guess its pretty fun being taught by this up-and-comming-newbie in the instructor arena... Why? coz least hes got plenty to say about food and general stuff, and i get to speak my mind about food as well... Speaking of which, I have decided in perfecting my cooking skills... Which also brings me to another point... I know it'll sound pretty awful at first, but I think its for the best...

I've decided to leave the Gothic look and try something refreshing for a change... 7 years into this, I think its time for me to grow out of my skin and be 'matured' (appearance wise)...

I thought about the good things that cld result in this new change, and one of which was the hope for Mom (my future mother in-law) to grow to like me and accept me as a decent human being... I guess I kind of give her the wrong impression that i'm some sort of run-away hooker of somekind just jumping at the first straight guy that actually likes me... Thats so not the case, so i'm determined to change that perception of hers... I didnt confront her, but thats just my best guess...

So when i got home, the first thing I did besides attending to my babies (tamagotchis) and cuddling to my latest fav book (title conceled for personal reasons), I tore all the posters off my wall in the hope of going for a new cleaner look... My gawd, i'm actually becomming the people I once saw I cld never fit into...!

Yes, its amazing! I'm actually becomming a reader, and i've picked up a new hobby which I think I'm pretty good at; Origami... Its amazing how much I'm actually enjoying all this change and the amount of money that i've invested hasnt even gone off budget by 50% at all! ^_^ (great, I can become a banker)

And just two days ago, I was at Cineleasure with my family, and at the large video screen, I happened to find myself jaw-staring at those sexy moves of Rob Thomas as he swayed to his latest single 'Lonely No More'... In that very instant, I recognised two things; Hes got that sweet angelic look one of my ex bfs once had when he was 14 and oh-so-HOT body just reminds me of my baby's! Which part? I'll tell you; the very short clip where he sways his hips... ITS SO SAD ITS ONLY A SHORT CLIP! Gawd, I felt a warm gush of blood just speeding all over; heart pounding, hands sweaty, a-and... you get the point... =P The very thought of that just turned me on right there... I think I'm missing him too much... lol...

Well, i've just downloaded the video and I'm watching that sexy clip right now... It cant be considered cheating when I"m actually replacing Rob with my baby right? =D

BabyOnVac/CrazyInstructor

2005-06-16T02:21:00.000-07:00

/ lets out a whimper/

*sigh.

My baby is now on a plane, on his way for his trip... I'M SO SAD! I'll miss him SO MUCH!!! Infact, I already miss him now... Spent a day with him a moment ago, but still, its not enough. =(

To add to my misery, I hate my driving instructor. I hate hate HATE the instructor thats been 'mysteriously' taking my time slots... For the first few lessons, he was clearly hitting on me, and even bringing my baby to class just wasnt enough to change his mind. So I couldnt take it any longer, and I lashed out at him yesterday. Told him to shut-up and only tell me what is relevent, instead of persuing information about my private life. But he didnt take it too well. He threw a tentrum all that afternoon, taking over the wheel at times when he didnt have to, and when he insisted on driving the car into the parking lot, he drove the car up the curb at least 4 times; with me on the curb side... Sure the rest of the instructors were staring at him, but that didnt bother him one bit. Damn, I wish I didnt have him for my instructor.
===

And anywayz I just wanna thank everyone who came for my b-day treat and esp my Baby for making it fantastic for me... =D

Muackies!

Men... UGH!

2005-06-09T23:13:00.000-07:00

*sigh* i've got man trouble again... mmph, dont ask... seriously; dont ask... I guess i just have to blow off some steam in here, but the only steam i'd be blowing wld be later in the shower...

i don't know, nothing witty going on in my brain right now...

I'm tired; bummed as shit and worried that my ice-cream treat wldnt go as planned tml... i just hope it does... but guess it isnt as important as THE 21st huh? i donno, thats what mom always says to me... sigh, whats 19 right? just a yr away from the big TWO-ZERO... am i excited? noooooooooooooooooooooooo... not at all...

just like what, three weeks into my vaccasion and you know what? nothings really come out of it... fun? i donno, havnt really been getting any... and as for the wall mural painting thingy, tink i'll just give it a miss... $2000... yea, sounds very attractive, but me and 'time' are like seperated lovers... I need 'time'; but 'time' doesnt care about me...

'time waits for no man...' - remember that.

---

I've had so many questions like "Are you excited that ur birthday is happening this weekend?" answer is, i'm not... I donno, just going through my phase I guess...

am I moody again? mmm, i'd say 'troubled'... like i said; man trouble...
I'd just say this;

this sucks.

---

Birkoff, " You'reSoFine! " " WhyCantYouBeMine? xD

2005-06-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

While surfing the net for names for my new tamagotchi babies, I stumbled onto a website of my 'old flame's'... Damn, it's fantastic Matthew Ferguson! AKA Birkoff from the very old television series 'La Femme Nikita'... I never found Peta pretty or sexy, but i sure found Matt 100% of ALL THAT... wooo! That was so loooooooooooooooooong ago... But hey, the butterflies are still arnd, so tts got to be a gd thing... Mmm, but I get that whenever I see Hossan Leong too... ya, i know, i find gay men attractive... Maybe coz they take extra care in their looks and always look oh-ever-so-CUTE (with the capital 'C')

Mmm, I'm not too sure if Matt is gay, but what i DO know, is he did star in a gay flick or two... yea, passion passion... But what makes him oh-so-appealing??? I donno, maybe its the lips???

*SMACKERS*

Sadly, he only looks as good as his lips in 'Le Famme Nikita'... but off set, he looks very unattractive... somehow, the camera loves him; enhancing his boyish appeal... but when its all gone, hes just like any other 40 yr old you see on the streets... darnit... Oop, looks like i've only got a thing for cute-boyish-computer-geeks... Heee... i know, that so doesnt sound like me... my list of girly crushes wld prob kill you of laughter, so i'll just save it... =D

Okay, leave me with my Birkoff gallery to drool over, while i listen to 'Dont Phunk With My Heart' by the Black Eyed Peas... Heee~ ^_^

Mom/Extras

2005-06-01T14:14:00.000-07:00

Oprah asks: " How would you rate yourself as a mother? From 1-10? "

Lisa Presley answers quickly: " 8. I'd rate myself at an 8... My children can also say that I'm a great mom..."

If Opera asked me that same question, I'd prob say the same thing too...
===

Its funny... funny that I treat each and every one of my tamagotchis like 'children' of my own... I carry them everywhere I go, and today, I'm a 'grandma' again for the gazillionth time... Lol... The characters are really cute. One of them even wrote me a 'Thank You' card today (took a picture of it, but will upload it another time). From time to time, I receive lots of gifts from them, and kisses to boot...! Its such a joy just 'bringing' them up and feel appreciated by simple lifeforms... =)

I just got two of the latest version 2 tamagotchis last week and so far, its been really fun... my characters are very low maintainance and float in their very own UFOs from time to time... And for a change, I get to buy toys and treats for my 'kids', and thats very refreshing... Its expensive just affording them in their Tamagotchi world, so I pretty much know how it feels to fork out cash just to keep them happy... but its like soul food, and seeing them happy makes me happy... =) I guess I'm happiest when I give them something they really like, and they spin wildly in their UFOs... hee...

I guess it'll be another two days before my other 'girls' will become mothers, while I have twin 3 yr olds to take care of. The new parents are nursing their new baby twin girls, so it'll be in two days since they move out and leave me with my brand new 'granddaughters'... Lol... So guess i'm pretty busy with choosing names for them... meanwhile, I'm secretly hoping for boys the next round... Keeping my fingers crossed...

===

Well, its been 5 days into the Great Singapore Sale, and all I've purchased is two tamagotchis, a tiny porcelin kitten, origami paper, gifts for Dad, a penguin from the new-hit 'Madagascar' movie for my sister, and some wrapping paper for it... It doesnt sound like much... guess i'm still waiting for my birthday cash to arrive till I can really take advantage of the GREAT SINGAPORE SALE!

/ rubs hands really quickly/

tml, tml, TML! Heard its the first day of the computer sale and I'm getting me a new one... c-cant wait, CANT WAIT!!! YiiiiiiiiiiiiPiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiDIDoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

/ jumps up and claps both heels together/ <--- and i can do that for real...

===

Well, I guess thats all for now... its Origami and TV time now!!! MY FIRST DRIVING LESSON IS TONIGHT AND I CANT WAIT!!!!! yay! ( but mmmm, cld you guys pray I dont drive into anything later? I'm scared... ) =/ *tks...

===

Kranky...

2005-05-25T23:58:00.000-07:00

Things to do today
==================

Go catch 'The Kingdom of Heaven' with a bunch of Muslims.

The result: I feared for my life.

===

Mmm, One assesment down; one to go... Jewellery; Hoot Hoot! O_O
Wish me luck... One request; Buddhist, Christian, Catholic, Muslim or Hindu; pls pray I'll have gr8t results... xD tks...
( Just kidding... lol... I'll be happy with whatever I'm given; Gods Will )

===

Faith isnt everything.../ CANCER=DEATH

2005-05-24T03:55:00.000-07:00

Faith isnt everything, this i came to know. A man must want a woman more than she wants him. Not saying she'll love him any less, but she'll love even more knowing this.

===

Gil and I met in the washroom yesterday;

" Hey, how are you? How's life?"

Oh hurray! finally! someone in church does care... I turn around; excited. but just when i was about to answer, shes out the door. VOOM!
Mmm... She cares.

But anywayz, this space is free and heck! its a free country!

Well, its painful at the beginning, but after a few good shows and lots of jelly, i'm starting to feel better about myself. Mmm, all is not lost; least i still have my humour...? hmmm...

So i did a web search and so far, www.webmd.com tells me that permenent hair dyes lead to bladder cancer and blood cancer... I'm sorry but my ex bf put me up to this... He put up a huge fuss about my make-up while he dyes his hair and gels it everytime he has to go out... But whats the fuss about again? He says make-up will kill me with cancer... YES; CANCER... I guess its true; really... I mean heck, BREAST CANCER is on the rise and i'm sure lots of women are now applying make up on their boobies coz men focus more on our 'puppies' than our beautiful faces... sad isnt it... pity girls are DYING to get male attention...

So dig this; hair gel contains alot of chemicals and one of them is PROPYLENE GLYCOL; Called a humectant in cosmetics, it is a mineral oil used in “hydraulic fluid” and industrial anti-freeze. A strong skin irritant it can also cause liver abnormalities and kidney damage. ( One already sounds scary huh? )

But what about hair sprays? Well, sorry but they're not spared either... FLUOROCARBONS;A colourless , non-flammable gas or liquid that can produce mild upper respiratory tract irritation. Fluorocarbons are commonly used as a propellant in hairsprays.

And the list goes on... here, go take a look at it, just dont panic...
http://www.internethealthlibrary.com/MFL/harmful_ingredients.htm

So, so far, if not for my seperation, i would have a dying Bf with a funny liver, bladder cancer, blood cancer and kidney damage.( but thats just the start ) Gfs, worried coz ur Bfs dye and gel their hair too? But, dont dispair; he'll have his hair during the funeral, coz the good guys at www.askmen.com tell me that you can pat on any amount of gel you like and it wldnt cause any hair loss... Cool! =D

So 'Whoopedido' after you read the page i got off 'internethealthlibrary.com' coz according to them, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE OF CANCER. I'll go do my funeral preperations RIGHT NOW coz you know, i just might die from using my fav bar of soap...

===

Singlehood... =)

2005-05-21T01:40:00.000-07:00

Yes; its over...

It ended today and yep, its the end... i've quit...
I'd just like to thank the friends which stood by me and gave me all
the moral support i needed this afternoon... I really appreciate it 'all... =)
* a BIG hug goes out to all my fav people... ( you know who you all are... )

Anywayz, i'd keep everyone posted about the b-day celebration details... meanwhile, lets endure the next few days while the assisment moves in closer... O_O

===

Things to note:

Christina wldnt be celebrating with us as her BF made plans for her b-day, so its just my celebration alone... ( will the other JUNE babies lemmie know they're dates so we can celebrate together? =) )

TT the celebration will be carried out on the 11th...
( invitation cards will be sent out; pls RSVP to my number )

===

2005-05-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

Just typing...

2005-05-08T17:57:00.000-07:00

Damn, what rotten luck i've been blessed with this morning... I left the house this morning, to find the bus i take to school every morning just standing outside... And to make things worse, there were two of them, and my house is only a mere ten meters away from the bus stop... Sure it's alrite... Then i waited another good 25 mins for another one, which unfortunately was filled to the brim... Naturally, i jumped rite in, but some bitch used her ass to keep me outside, constantly tipping me over the edge of the last step... But just as the bus was leaving, I got pushed out by one side of the door and heart sank. But two mins later to my relief, another bus comes crawling my way... I've taken down the bus feedback hotline number to do what we do best; complain...

2005-05-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

My golden yellow sunshine; my kiss in the rain... My psycedelic hot-shot who always takes my breath away... Just loving u makes me fly; and just loving u helps me live... Coz everytime i hold u my heart goes bouncing all over the place... I love u my beautiful precious baby... I love u! I love u! I love U!

2005-04-27T02:22:00.000-07:00

Phew... Still on the LRT on my way home now... The train just suddenly stopped in the middle of nowhere and was tilting towards the busy traffic below... And yes, i was on the tilted side... Lol... Anyways, to add to my amazement, i just found out they'd change the sch uniform of my previous sec school... It's all baby blue now, and they have pin badges too... But, still feel the previous design i grew up with is nicer; minus the iron on badge... xD

2005-04-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

Feeling foreign... A sense of secluded serenity seems to delude itself from me... Capturing itself else where...

2005-04-22T03:14:00.000-07:00

"Enjoy Healthy Meals With Meggie" a weird caption coming from an instant noodle truck... On my way home now, with my baby, from an unrewarding shopping trip...

2005-04-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Mmm, i know it's been a long time since i blogged... Thought my blog was screwed, but it wasn't... =/ but anyways, i think i'm done preparing for the Jewellery cum Sale thingy... It's been postponed three times now, and to be very frank, i'm very pissed and bored... I've lost the adrenelin for it... Sigh, but least i made one... Wearing it now to promote it... Hope it works, lol! Oh, almost forgot to mention about last Sat's mega flea market at Havelock Rd... It wasn't fantastic, but i did bag away a 'bird cage' candle holder and a vintage mirror... Whee! Plus, my baby bought the mirror i so wanted... Double Yay! Well, enough said for now... I'll just end of by saying that preparing for my driver's licence is a real bitch... It makes Camillia Parker Bowles look lyk cheap overrated kitsch... Got to go meet my baby now, later!

2005-04-01T22:28:00.000-08:00

Now waiting for my pre driving basic theory test to begin... And with half an hour left to kill, i think i'm doin well, armed with my new mag; blackbook... It's a really interesting mag, filled with shamless witty honest thoughts, which sometimes seem to confuse me as i think "did they really say that? & what were they thinking?"... I'm the only person who seems to be filling this empty hallway now, feeling somewhat accomplished coz my boredom lead me to discover my phone's WAP BLOGGING abilities... Fantastic! My thoughts will never escape my blog now... All my mind can think of, is slipping into my baby's bed and cruising off to sleep... =D Yes, i am worn out... Happens to me at the end of each week... Now staring at a caption on my mag ;"ur thumbs are more important than u think", i cldn't agree more after this point.

Peel...

2005-03-30T01:21:00.000-08:00

I cut my finger tips,
brusied my skin,
bled a little,
and tore a layer or two...
but it didnt matter,
they were numb anyway...

They fell dry as i carried on filing,
sanding,
knocking,
and twisting the piece of silver...
Time is now my enemy;
I cldnt allow it to distract me...
So i peeled away at my fingertips once again...
Raw; i gripped onto the sharp metal even tighter,
now feeling the same pain on the surface instead of within...

After five hours i had to pack my things...
Reluctent i stared at it in my hands,
craddling it in my palm
as i promised i will complete it...
A stray tear brushed against my cheek,
as i slipped it in my trouser pocket...

The gift i kept for a time which would never come...

So what? Gone down the drain...

2005-03-29T00:14:00.000-08:00

Whats the use of turning a new leaf?
It ended anyway...

Ask him...

Turning a new leaf...

2005-03-13T00:49:00.000-08:00

A chance for turning a new leaf...

I wldnt waste it...

I am a Whore; a Slut

2005-03-12T15:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, i wish there was either an 'eject', 'delete' or 'Esc' button... Then again, an 'Exist' door might do fine as well...

But now, what i really long for isnt the 'Restart', but 'End'...
I was just wondering to myself if i'm actually better off dead, missing or gone... I've been fighting with myself for too long and i dont wish to hurt him anymore...

'Keep ur friends close to you; but your enemies closer', he said...
But i'm afraid i might kill him one day from all the sins i've done to him; shattering my own dreams, killing myself with my own hands and from within...

Should i pull the plug on myself as the ultimate sacrifice? a show of my passion and eternal guilt for what i have done? Maybe one day he might forgive me... but I? I find that i'm comming to a point where i cant even live with myself anymore, that it hurts to much just trying to pull myself away from me... because i cant...

'Save me from me!', cried Pink... Save me from me... its useless...

I am shameless;
I am condamned;
I am a lier;
I am a cheater;
A whore;
And a slut.

May the crowd stone me when they see me on the streets and hound me down on ever corner and surface my pain in sores and wounds on my body... May i bleed to death and make the dump my final resting place... Then afterward, when my body has been found, may they mock me and drag me on the road, tied to the end of a truck through a crowd until i'm reduced to nothing but bone and wasted flesh... Then may they leave my remains there for the people to trample on, and the cars to run over...

Sometimes, I wish I were never here to begin with...

I hate me.

2005-03-07T22:42:00.000-08:00

My Baby is the greatest, My Baby is the best!
My Baby is my new religion;
Of Which i will embrace and forever keep!

===

MMm, no... that WASNT a poem... i'm currently working on it along side my critic preperations for Thursday... sigh*...

Anywayz, a beautiful pic of me and my baby... =D

[Meet my God; we're 8 months and counting! =D]

Lucid Dreams?

2005-03-04T15:30:00.000-08:00

Its funny but for the past two nights, i've been having all sorts of nightmares and lucid twisted dreams... i dont understand any of them, and they both freak me out alot... i wonder if my dreams are trying to tell me something that i've over looked... have i been too busy for myself that i'm unconciously speaking to myself in my sleep through these images? i've spent part of my afternoon trying to make sense of my dreams, searching through dream dictionaries and still not much luck... but what scared me the most, was finding myself in the center of my mind in last night's dream... i was actually standing in a room; my room...

and it is numbered;

Room 106...

Men;Cheap?

2005-02-28T00:10:00.000-08:00

"If MEn had Bigger Titts; They Might Understand Us Better~"
-Me

===

On Fri, Hid came up to me to discuss how the Sculpture team might have paid their model and on what charge...

Hid: "$6.50? Thats cheap... Why so cheap?"

Me: "It was a guy... and men are cheap?"

Hid: "Haha... but how they pay him?"

Me: "Mmmm..."

Hid: "Its not even half of our model's pay"

Me: /sudden idea stuck!/
"Uh! I know! Head=$1, Arms=$1 each, Legs=$1 each, Body=$1, D*ck=$0.50!"

Hid: "Haha! Maybe ar? You very bad lei..."

Me: "Lol! What? it might? i dont know; i'm only guessing...~"

{}

===

PhotoEssay/Zouk/Art/M9

2005-02-27T04:00:00.000-08:00

In LOving Memory Of My Skateboard;

A Photo Essay...

===

No, he didnt parish... he was only sold... sad sad sad... but here are the only pics i can cling onto when i miss him...

" I carry the things that remind me of you... " -wish i cld say the same... haha...

===

[Charished; not forgotten]

{}

===

Anywayz, just got back from Zouk nt too long ago... went there wif my baby... the music was great... haha... had some fun tonight... =D
its funny i dont feel lyk slping... seems lyk i've found some new energy i've kept in me... wish i cld use it for my painting right now... cld use plenty on it really... just a little tiny bit more, and i'm done! =D woohoo!!!!

Oh, and just got the news that Monica just gave birth; TO A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL!!!

C O N G R A T S M O N I C A!!!

Muz see the baby as soon as shes opened for visitors... hee...

===

On a different note, theres a new artist in residence here at Sculpture Square...

::M A S A T O T A N A K A::

Mmm, i'll be checking out his open studio days... anyone interested? lemmie know... =)

---

::M9 Singapore Talented Artists::

Yea, went for the opening on Wed night with my baby and Dan... Dan is this great guy i met during the days when i was still doing sculpture... was supposed to help him do this show portraying Women's sexuality; the struggles and poor stereotypes, as his model for a head shot... but too bad something popped up... so... oh well...

So anywayz, comming back to the show...

The works were impressive, esp the paintings done by DAvid Chan... like this one that greeted us at the top of the stair at the entrance...

I like his work... very conceptual... symbols and icons of something greater, esp issues concerning s'poreans ( i believe, so dont shoot me if i'm wrong ) if ur wondering why i say that, go over to ARt Seasons and check out this title:

'M A K E A C H A M P I A N O U T O F M E'

do it fast, coz this guy is selling out real quick...

Another artist i'd like to heightlight is J U S T I N L E E... I'll always remember him as the 'Bruce Lee guy' coz thats what he did... hes a pop art kind of artist, so dont be so judgemental... I was lucky to get the chance to speak to him, ask him more about his work and surprisingly, unlike many artists i know, he actually took the time to explain his work to me... he shared from method to concept, from idea to execution... if u wanna know more, u gotta find me, coz it'll take long... but if there are enough requests, i'll post up a short write up... =P

[Sorry, its on its side... pls tilt ur head till it looks virtical... =P tks...]

And lastly, Max... yEap, he's one of the participating artists as well in the show... heres one of his works that was featured on the poster...

Max works on process... so instead of wondering what his painting is about, take the time to study the flow of the lines instead... how they flow and channel themselves into a unique pattern of their own in each painting... and just incase u find some very straight lines in his work; he never believes in using maskintape... infacts, he hates it... so marvel at this artist's amazing skill and technique!!! =D

Steve Chua is also great! his paintings are so dynamic and so solid, they convinced me that they were photos... dont believe me? look at this one below...

Wow??? =D haha...!

But anywayz, just to end of this side of the post, my baby became an instant fan of Jenn Long's... but unfortunately, i'm not impressed... (ironically, he graduated from NAFA 2 yrs ago) lol... awww, shucks rite? but oh well...

'One Man's Meat is another Man's Poison...'

http://www.artseasons.com.sg/events/event.cfm?eventid=C86C0F8C-FF16-F957-0485E7558589C4DC

<--- paste this URL into ur ADD box to read up more about this show...

Show ends on the 12th of March; 2005... Aiyah, just take ur time to head on down okay? haha... dont say i'm pushy... makes me feel bad...

http://www.artseasons.com.sg/venue_hire_as.cfm

<--- paste this URL into ur ADD box for directions and a pic of the place...

+

You sld really read the stupid interview from the IS magazine... their topic?

HOt or Not?

How dumb is that??? read abt it in last week's issue; its sad... i still have a copy of it, so if anyone wants to read it, lemmie know... =)

{}

===

Weird guy/NAFA OpenHouse

2005-02-25T09:27:00.000-08:00

Today on the bus, i saw a guy trying to dress like a Tibetian monk in a pair of PJ pants, Mac Donalds' shirt uniform, a flower printed malay scarf drapped over his shoulder and down to his waist, and a bandanna made from 4 pieces tied shabbishly around his head... But before he stepped onboard, I was thinking of you... And when i saw him; i lost all my thoughts... Just like that.

-Me; On Monday, Feb 21 2005.
===

Well, what else is new? i've been very busy again... really missed updating my blog, so here goes... =D

===

Lots of stuff has been happening since my last post... lots of unpleasant stuff actually... and i choose not to disclose any information about it... But meanwhile, may i comment on the NAFA open house?

It was actually very sad... on the first floor right at the entrance, they had this 'H U G E' fair all spread out in between the two buildings, which is like the space of a classroom... And in that space, they managed to squeeze;

(STarting from the left)

1. A snow cone machine seller
2. A pizza seller
3. A small shop selling badges, Tees and Buttons
4. A dj booth
5. A collector's toy store behind
6. A live band opposite
7. Some funny cheap booth, maybe a nafa booth
8. And a receiption table...

Sounds like alot rite? They even had cosplay students come in their costumes in the hope of bringing in more curious visitors to have a trip around our school... And one of those character which was presant was a Gandam Robot... Really impressive, until he removes his helmut... xD

NAFA must have succeeded in attradcting lots of ppl this yr, and noticing its 'fun fair' rite?

Me: "Hey, want to go down and take a look at the fair later?"
Shi: "Theres a fair? Where!?" =D
Me: " Downstairs..." -_-"

... W R O N G!
===

So, all in all, the whole NAFA openhouse sucked... Esp the visitors which were allowed to enter our classrooms for visiting... i felt like a show animal put on disply... only they came cheap and didnt bring us food... infact, LiLi was suggesting we install a plastic sign on the door and introduce ourselves as such;
( i'd add some of my own too)

Name: Painters
Species: Fine Arts
Description:

This species of Fine Arts students were once comming to extinction... But though the constant care and cultivation of the NAFA instutute, they have succeded in reviving our species...

Please feed the animals; you are encouraged... They eat the following foods;

1. Ice-cream
2. Pizza
3. Chips
4. Whatever! we just want your food you cheap bastards!

===

One of the dumbest questions i was asked during the visit was this, and i'll leave you with it... tml, i shall tag along pics of the skateboard i sold to Erasmus... Whats the money for? Well, gonna take my baby to lunch at the Orchard hotel this weekend... hope i get a place tho; gotta make reservations (again)... Alrite, quote quote quote!

Student: " ARe your models really N U D E?"

Me: " Mmm, no... actually, we get our models to wear our special NAFA full-boday
latex suit, spray painted to their specific skin tone color, with the necessary details printed on the surface..."

Student: " R E A L L Y!?"

Me: "Mmm, no. They're really nude..."

Student: "Huh?! HOw much ur pay em?"

Me: "Mmm, 30 an hour?"

Student: "SO MUCH?!"

Me: "Mmm, yea... coz eh, they're nude?"

Student: "But i thought he said $6.50!?"

WeiYuan: "Yea, for sculpture, we paied him that... how come urs so expensive?"

Me: "Orhhh... coz urs is a guy and ours are girls... Men are cheap, so deal with it..."
===

Okay! i wanna go shower now and go to school! l8ter!

Girls' night-out

2005-02-19T00:34:00.000-08:00

Well, had our girls' night-out this evening... wasnt too bad... just consisted of Christine, Van, Shi, Shan and me... we met up for dinner then made our way to NTU... Sadly, Shan lost the pendant her ex gave to her, so she was kinda distrout for a while... but she recovered during the course of our evening together... +)

we attended a modern jazz dance performance which cost us 12 bucks a tix... it started really well at first, then it started to drag, with videos which they played to compliment the dance which didnt make any sense... then toward the end, from RNB, turned mandrarin music... it was terrible... and to their finale? an S-H-E song... ugh... felt like i was attending a concert of somekind... And after the show, we ajurned for supper then went home... oh, bumped into Derrick (Clair's bf) on the train too... heh...

But all in all, we had fun catching up... =D

Girls' night-out rocks! We sld do it again soon babes! =D

===
[]

Valentines!!!

2005-02-14T00:30:00.000-08:00

Wow... what a great valentines day i've had today... its the best i've had since, i donno, all my life? lol... right now i'm chatting with my friend Eugene, and watchin Bewitched (an old 60s show about a witch) on the Hallmark channel at the same time... Hes just thanking me for helping him get flowers for this girl he lyks today... lol...

Well, started the day simple... met Nat on my way to school, picked up the flowers at the florist shop, and delivered my cookies and flowers after that to all my friends and classmates... and guess what? my model fell sick today, so i had to find a new one for the week... sigh...

Then met my baby in the afternoon, and went for our dinner reservation at Whitebait and Kale in the evening... =D anywayz, the flowers he gave me were just beautiful! i dont know what to say, but lots of people were staring at my flowers on the streets coz mine were, lets just say, big... xD

Oh, and he got me this really cute bracelet from MoshiMoshi... its got lots of flat heart-shaped cut outs all stringed together... i'll post a pic of it up real soon... but dont take my word for it, coz i'm a very busy person... xD

dont wanna say too much abt my v-day celebration, coz i dont wanna offend the singles that didnt have dates... =(

http://www.whitebaitandkale.com/
<---Go check out their website... a very porche place with excellent service... but the only catch is; its $80+++ per person... so be prepared to spend a little more to be pampered... hee... Anywayz, i received a complimentary rose and chocolates from them... a bouquet for those who order from the ala carte menu... not bad huh? =) go try that place... its an Australian restaurant btw... will post pics of the place real soon...

===

Anywayz, i went to watch 'Constantine' with my baby last night... it was a wonderful film... an interesting story line taken from a comic book, and really nice animation... and as always, Keanu did a fantastic job at portraying the charactor at its best... he was very convincing and very passionate; something i enjoyed very much during the film... The story is very dark and twisted, with alot of theories and beliefs about religion and life... folks that cant stomach gore, give this movie a miss... =P

[John; "Welcome to my life"]

http://constantinemovie.warnerbros.com/
<-Go visit sometime...

===

And just updates from CNY... (heh, late i know...been very busy)
Sorrie for the washed out pics below... it was dark and yea, pictures didnt turn out as brilliant as displyed on the camera... =( sigh... well, enjoy them anywayz...

[On the phone at my aunt's place for Reunion dinner...Pic taken by my uncle... hes so good at this photography thing...think he sld seriously consider taking part in competitions]

[My sis took the following pics for me...]

[I took this one myself; plus the following...]

[Me in my room...]

[Wow...CNY visiting finally over... can hang up my dress...hooking it on the handle of my bedroom...DND... =P]
===

[]

2005-02-08T01:00:00.000-08:00

Recently, i've received a rather absurd yet interesting msg in my bulletin board a couple of days ago... it was titled

'Inhuman Beings'

sent by a friend, the msg went on condamning a site for animal cruelty and encourages people to respond to the msg by signing a 500 person partition to close down the site... but whats it all about? well, a site claiming to have found a method to disfigure your typical household cat into any shape you desire...

www.bonsaikitten.com

After visiting the site, i found a few loop holes which lead me to think it was nothing but a pure hoax... i wasnt impressed; not one bit... i read its mission page and guestbook and found a few mistakes... if so many people celebrate it as they have claimed, why not show off their 'pets'? shouldnt there be more pictures of kittens belonging to those fans? another would be their yahoo! club page; it doesnt exist... i also did a web search and apparently, there arnt any pictures of bonsai kittens accept those belonging to the site...

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blbonsai.htm

this site confirmed my suspicions...
===

at the end of the day friends, i wld lyk to ask you all to please do some research and ask urself the obvious

'is this a joke' question, before alerting everyone of something that isnt happening at all... at the end of the day, i guess 500 persons (if ever the partition reaches that number) are the most gullible persons on the face of this planet...
[sad to say, but this might be true]

[what a dumb hoax site]

{}

Sunday Story...

2005-02-07T00:30:00.000-08:00

Mmm, yesterday was another lazy Sunday... Went for my monthly teacher's meeting at church... all was well... its so cute that the teachers are so amused by my Jesus Action Figure... xD said i wld use him for Palm Sunday... so yeap, i'll gt a hell of a response man; cant wait... xD

[Jesus C O O L!] - say it the same way as the show title 'Hua Yu C O O L!' (Chinese Cool) -_-"

Went to HOlland V. for some North Indian food; Dad's b-day tml... so yeap... mom's treat... was the food good? my tummy didnt think so... lol...
later, went down to Chinatown to shop for a Chiongsam with Urich... Got lost and evantually found us a shop that sold it... was so happy to bring home a red one... but when i got home, mom said it was too short... =( mothers... -_-

And after shopping for one afternoon, went over to my baby's place, met his friends who were doin up a project there... spent some time with him till i had to leave for home... and Gene ar, don do that again pls... cant believe i A C T U A L L Y rushed home for that... lol... xD

===
yeap; promised my baby i wld slp early tonight... so heres to keeping my word... MUAX baby doll! I LOVE YOU!

*Black_Iris*